I originally ran into the following very humorous article a couple of years ago, when thumbing through the pages of that year's VLS Mail Order Catalog. Hope you get a kick out of it.

 

 

 

ARE YOU A MASTER MODELER?

 

by Joe Porter, (Editor & Project Manager of the VLS Mail Order Catalog)

 

1.    Score 100 points if you ever called in sick to finish a model.

2.    Score 50 points if you ever needed assistance getting un-superglued.

3.    Deduct 75 points if you own a set of golf clubs.

4.    Score 40 points if you ever helped yourself to that cool sand in an upright hotel ashtray.

5.    Score 2 points for every bottle of paint on your workbench. Add 50 bonus points if you own your own paint rack.

6.    Score 200 points if a hobby tool incident has required stitches.

7.    Score 75 points if, on arriving in a strange town, the first thing you look for is hobby shops in the phone book.

8.    Score 300 bonus points if you ever planned a family vacation to include a model show.

9.    Score 25 points if you have something from the kitchen on your workbench. Score 100 bonus points if your wife doesn’t know it’s missing.

10. Score 50 points if you shop for hobby supplies, unaccompanied, in a fabric or cosmetics store.

11. Score 50 points for each pack of Grandt Line bolts you ever bought.

12. Score 25 points for every kit you have purchased in the last year. Score 250 bonus points for every project you have completed.

13. Score 50 points if you’re left-handed.

14. Deduct 300 points if you ever sold some of your unbuilt kits.

15. Score 30 points for every non-modeler who has seen your models and said, “Oh, I used to do that when I was a kid.”

16. Deduct 100 points for every unfinished project you’ve set aside.

17. Score 500 points if you ever purchased a Mascot figure.

18. Score 800 bonus points if you painted it. Deduct 1000 points if you did anything weird after that.

19. Score 150 points if you ever ordered a kit through the mail, and had it sent to your office so your wife wouldn’t find out.

20. Score 500 sympathy points if your hobby has cost you a relationship.

21. Score 600 points if the local library refers inquiries to you.

22. Deduct 5000 points if you ever used a penlight while judging.

23. Score 50 points for every part you dropped – and found!

24. Score 75 points if you own Optivisors.

25. Score 425 points if someone else smashed their models when you showed up at a contest.

26. Score 350 points if, lacking reference, you ever “invented” a detail on a  model, and passed it off as 100% accurate.

27. Score 75 points if you use different “mood music” for different modeling projects.

28. Score 250 points if you ever found someone else’s drool on one of your models.

29. Deduct ALL YOUR POINTS if you actually scored yourself. You should be in there building models, not using your valuable time taking frivolous quizzes.

 

Take life seriously. Take your hobby seriously. Just never take yourself too seriously. Thanks for coming.

 

                                                                                                                           - Joe
 
 
 

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Copyright © 2010 by Anthony I. Wootson & Joe Porter. No material may be reproduced without permission. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.