(If
Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: The Next Generation)
Picard: Sigma Indri, that's the
star.
So, Data, please, how far? How far?
Data: Our ship
can get there very fast.
But still,
the trip, will last and last.
We'll have
two days till we arrive.
But can
the Indrans there survive?
Picard: LaForge, please,
warp-factor nine.
LaForge: But, sir, the engines are offline!
Picard: Offline! But why? I
want to go!
Please
make it so. Please make it so!
Riker: But sir,
if Geordi says we can't,
we can't,
we mustn't, and we shan't!
The danger
here is far too great!
Picard: But surely, we must
not be late!
Troi: I'm
sensing anger and great ire.
Computer: ALERT! ALERT! THE SHIP'S ON FIRE!
Picard: The ship's on
fire? How can this be?
Who
lit the fire?
Riker: Not
me.
Worf: Not
me.
Picard: Computer, how
long till we die?
Computer: EIGHT MINUTES LEFT,
TO
SAY GOODBYE!
Data: May
I suggest a course to take?
We
could, I think, quite safely make.
Extinguishers
from tractor beams,
to
stop the fire, or so it seems…
Geordi: Hurray! Hurray! You've
saved the day!
Again,
I say, Hurray! Hurray!
Picard: Mr. Data, thank
you much.
You’ve
saved our lives, our ship, and such.
Troi: We still must save the Indran planet-
Data: (which
by the way, is made of granite…)
Picard: Enough, you
android. Please desist.
We
understand - we get your gist.
But
can we get our ship to go?
Please,
make it so. PLEASE MAKE IT SO!
Geordi: There's sabotage among
the wires.
And
that's what started all the fires.
Riker: We have a saboteur? Oh no!
We
need to go! We need to go!
Troi: We
must seek out the traitor spy,
And
lock him up and ask him why?
Worf: Ask
him why? How sentimental.
I
say we give him problems, dental!
Troi: Are
any Romulan ships around?
Have
scanners said that they've been found?
Or
is it Borg, or some new threat,
We
haven't even heard of yet?
I
sense no malice in this crew.
Now
what are we supposed to do?
Crusher: Captain, Please! The Indrans need
us!
They
cry out, "Help us, clothe us, feed us!"
I
can't just sit and let them die!
A
doctor MUST attempt to try!
Picard: Doctor, please,
we'll be there soon.
Crusher: They may be dead,
by
Tuesday, noon.
*COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK
HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE?*
Worf: The
saboteur is in the brig.
He's very strong, and very big.
I had my phaser, set on stun -
A
Zzzip! A Zzzap! Another one!
He
would not budge. He would not fall.
He
would not stun. No, not at all.
He
changed into a stranger form,
all
soft and purple, round and warm.
Picard: Did you
see this, Mr. Worf?
Did
you see this creature morph?
Worf: I
did and then I beat him fairly.
Hit
him on the jaw, quite squarely.
Riker: My
commendations, Klingon friend!
Our
troubles now, are at an end!
Crusher: Now, let's get our ship to
fly,
and
orbit yonder Indran sky!
Picard: LaForge, please,
can we go…?
Geordi: Yes, sir, we can.
Picard: Then make it
so!
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