Seuss Trek

(If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: The Next Generation)

 

 

Picard:    Sigma Indri, that's the star.

So, Data, please, how far? How far?

 

Data:       Our ship can get there very fast.

                But still, the trip, will last and last.

                We'll have two days till we arrive.

                But can the Indrans there survive?

 

Picard:     LaForge, please, warp-factor nine.

 

LaForge:  But, sir, the engines are offline!

 

Picard:     Offline! But why? I want to go!

                Please make it so. Please make it so!

 

Riker:       But sir, if Geordi says we can't,

                we can't, we mustn't, and we shan't!

                The danger here is far too great!

 

Picard:     But surely, we must not be late!

 

Troi:         I'm sensing anger and great ire.

 

Computer: ALERT! ALERT! THE SHIP'S ON FIRE!

 

Picard:      The ship's on fire? How can this be?

                 Who lit the fire?

 

Riker:        Not me.

 

Worf:         Not me.

 

Picard:      Computer, how long till we die?

 

Computer: EIGHT MINUTES LEFT,

                 TO SAY GOODBYE!

 

Data:        May I suggest a course to take?

                 We could, I think, quite safely make.

                 Extinguishers from tractor beams,

                 to stop the fire, or so it seems…

 

Geordi:     Hurray! Hurray! You've saved the day!

                 Again, I say, Hurray! Hurray!

 

Picard:      Mr. Data, thank you much.

                 You’ve saved our lives, our ship, and such.

 

Troi:         We still must save the Indran planet-

 

Data:        (which by the way, is made of granite…)

 

Picard:      Enough, you android. Please desist.

                 We understand - we get your gist.

                 But can we get our ship to go?

                 Please, make it so. PLEASE MAKE IT SO!

 

Geordi:     There's sabotage among the wires.

                 And that's what started all the fires.            

 

Riker:        We have a saboteur? Oh no!

                 We need to go! We need to go!

 

Troi:         We must seek out the traitor spy,

                 And lock him up and ask him why?

 

Worf:        Ask him why? How sentimental.

                 I say we give him problems, dental!

 

Troi:         Are any Romulan ships around?

                 Have scanners said that they've been found?

                 Or is it Borg, or some new threat,

                 We haven't even heard of yet?

                 I sense no malice in this crew.

                 Now what are we supposed to do?

 

Crusher:   Captain, Please! The Indrans need us!

                 They cry out, "Help us, clothe us, feed us!"

                 I can't just sit and let them die!

                 A doctor MUST attempt to try!

 

Picard:      Doctor, please, we'll be there soon.

 

Crusher:    They may be dead,

                  by Tuesday, noon.

 

*COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK

HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE?*

 

Worf:         The saboteur is in the brig.

                  He's very strong, and very big.

                  I had my phaser, set on stun -

                  A Zzzip! A Zzzap! Another one!

                  He would not budge. He would not fall.

                  He would not stun. No, not at all.

                  He changed into a stranger form,

                  all soft and purple, round and warm.

 

Picard:       Did you see this, Mr. Worf?

                  Did you see this creature morph?

 

Worf:         I did and then I beat him fairly.

                  Hit him on the jaw, quite squarely.

 

Riker:         My commendations, Klingon friend!

                  Our troubles now, are at an end!

 

Crusher:    Now, let's get our ship to fly,

                  and orbit yonder Indran sky!

 

Picard:      LaForge, please, can we go…?

 

Geordi:     Yes, sir, we can.

 

Picard:      Then make it so!

 

 

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